~ Demi Masa ~

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

~:: hOw To FiNd HaPpInEsS: 7 tImElEsS tIpS fRoM tHe LaSt 2500 YeArS ::~

I'm feeling a bit down lately, so I search some articles to clear out my head. COz reading +ve stuff do always make me feel good although might be just a bit :)


One good way to find a few useful, life-improving and time-tested tips is to look back. To look way back through history. To find ideas that have arisen in minds over and over the last few thousand years. Here are seven such ideas about how you can find happiness. Maybe you´ll find them helpful.


1. You choose.

Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Abraham Lincoln

Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

The world of those who are happy is different from the world of those who are not.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

How your view yourself and your world are conscious choices and habits. The lens you choose to view everything through determines how you will interpret what is happening. And from your interpretation you act. And all of this becomes your life.

You can choose to find happiness in small, everyday things. You can choose to interpret what happens in a positive way. Or in a negative way.

And your choices controls much of how much happiness your will find and create in your life.

2. Focus on the present, not yesterday or tomorrow.

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
Helen Keller

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.
James Oppenheim

You only have now. And now. And now. Yesterday is a memory and you cannot change it. Tomorrow is just a fantasy in your mind right now. So live more in the now, focus on the present moment and today. Think and worry less about yesterday and tomorrow. Otherwise you might miss a great deal of happiness that is available to you right now.

3. Don’t forget to be grateful.

Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.
Fyodor Dostoevsky

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
Frederick Keonig

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
Marcel Proust

One of the simplest and quickest ways to turn a negative and sour mood into a more positive one is to be grateful.

A few things you can feel gratitude for are for instance: The sunshine and the weather. Your roof. Your health. A good TV-show, a movie or a song. Your friends, family, co-workers and just about anyone walking down the street.

Just try if for a minute and see how it changes how you feel. And it’s a win/win solution. You feel great because you are grateful about your world and the people you are grateful for feel great too because they feel appreciated. So don´t forget about gratitude or you may forget about the happiness that is already in your life.

4. Help someone else find happiness.

Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.
Buddha

If you want happiness for an hour — take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day — go fishing.
If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime — help someone else.
Chinese Proverb

Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it.
Bernard Meltzer

This is certainly one of the most popular ideas I’ve found about happiness. And it might sound clichaed and empty. But it works very well. When you make someone else happy – by, for example, helping them with something - you can sense, see, feel and hear it. And that happy feeling flows back to you. And then, if you’d like, you can boost you own ego by thinking something like: ”Wow, I really made him/her happy!”.

And since the Law of Reciprocity is strong there is another upside. People will feel like giving back to you. Or they might feel like helping/sharing it with someone else. And so the two – or more – of you keep spreading the happiness.

5. Get rid of a couple of your less valuable desires.

If thou wilt make a man happy, add not unto his riches but take away from his desires.
Epicurus

You can never get enough of what you don’t need to make you happy.
Eric Hoffer

That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.
Henry David Thoreau

If you want less instead of more, more, more then your desires are more likely to be fulfilled. And if you throw away a few of those desires that you may not really want or need that much anyway you’ll probably start to feel less stressed and worried. This is a calmer and better place to be to enjoy your day (tip #2) and to take the time discover the happiness that is already in your life (tip #3).

6. Do what you like to do.

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.
Albert Schweitzer

Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.
Franklin D. Roosevelt

A pretty obvious one. But it’s still easy to trap yourself into doing what you don’t want to for many, many hours. And seldom do what you really love to do. And I guess this one ties into tip #1. You may not be able to choose to do what you want to do right now. Or for many hours each day or week. But you almost always have a choice to do more of what you really want to do. There is always time. Or time you can free up. You have a choice.

7. Or at least do something.

Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.
Benjamin Disraeli

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Mark Twain

One of the best ways to not find happiness is just to hold yourself back and do nothing. Seldom show up. Paralyze yourself through over analysis. It’s not always easy to take action, it can be scary and hard and difficult. But if you don’t take action you’ll be missing out on a lot. Including many moments, people and experiences that can bring you a lot of happiness.

Good one :)

~:: 8 ToXiC pErSoNaLiTiEs To AvOiD ::~

Interesting article & the fact that I've met most of the sort of individual mentioned making it more interesting... Read and learn...


Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.

Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.

Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.

Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:

1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.

Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.
2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."

Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.
3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.

Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.
4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.

Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.
5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.
6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.

Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.
7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.

Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.
8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.

Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.
All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.

Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

~:: kIsAh NaBi KhIdIr ::~

Remember last time in my mention about the story of prophet Musa and prophet Khidir in when I wrote No Judging Day. Well this is the stories of the prophets that I took from wikipedia

Nabi Khidir (Al-Khidir) adalah seorang hamba yang saleh (nabi) yang dituturkan oleh Allah Ta'ala dalam Al-Qur'an dalam Surah Al-Kahfi ayat 65-82. Selain kisah tentang nabi Khidir yang mengajarkan tentang ilmu dan kebijaksanaan kepada Nabi Musa a.s. asal usul dan kisah lainnya tentang Nabi Khidir tidak banyak disebutkan.

Perjalanan Nabi Khidir dan Nabi Musa

Demikianlah seterusnya Nabi Musa a.s. mengikuti Nabi Khidir dan terjadilah beberapa peristiwa yang menguji diri Nabi Musa a.s. yang telah berjanji bahawa baginda tidak akan bertanya sebab sesuatu tindakan diambil oleh Nabi Khidir. Setiap tindakan Nabi Khidir a.s. itu dianggap aneh dan membuat Nabi Musa terperanjat.

Kejadian yang pertama adalah saat Nabi Khidir menghancurkan perahu yang ditumpangi mereka bersama. Nabi Musa tidak kuasa untuk menahan hatinya untuk bertanya kepada Nabi Khidir. Nabi Khidir memperingatkan janji Nabi Musa, dan akhirnya Nabi Musa meminta maaf karena kalancangannya mengingkari janjinya untuk tidak bertanya terhadap setiap tindakan Nabi Khidir.

Selanjutnya setelah mereka sampai di suatu daratan, Nabi Khidir membunuh seorang anak yang sedang bermain dengan kawan-kawannnya. Peristiwa pembunuhan yang dilakukan oleh Nabi Khidir tersebut membuat Nabi Musa tak kuasa untuk menanyakan hal tersebut kepada Nabi Khidir. Nabi Khidir kembali mengingatkan janji Nabi Musa, dan beliau diberi kesempatan terakhir untuk tidak bertanya-tanya terhadap segala sesuatu yang dilakukan oleh Nabi Khidir, jika masih bertanya lagi maka Nabi Musa harus rela untuk tidak mengikuti perjalanan bersama Nabi Khidir.

Selanjutnya mereka melanjutkan perjalanan hingga sampai disuatu wilayah perumahan. Mereka kelelahan dan hendak meminta bantuan kepada penduduk sekitar. Namun sikap penduduk sekitar tidak bersahabat dan tidak mau menerima kehadiran mereka, hal ini membuat Nabi Musa merasa kesal terhadap penduduk itu. Setelah dikecewakan oleh penduduk, Nabi Khidir malah menyuruh Nabi Musa untuk bersama-samanya memperbaiki tembok suatu rumah yang rusak di daerah tersebut. Nabi Musa tidak kuasa kembali untuk bertanya terhadap sikap Nabi Khidir ini yang membantu memperbaiki tembok rumah setelah penduduk menzalimi mereka. Akhirnya Nabi Khidir menegaskan pada Nabi Musa bahwa beliau tidak dapat menerima Nabi Musa untuk menjadi muridnya dan Nabi Musa tidak diperkenankan untuk terus melanjutkan perjalannya bersama dengan Nabi Khidir.

Selanjutnya Nabi Khidir menjelaskan mengapa beliau melakukan hal-hal yang membuat Nabi Musa bertanya. Kejadian pertama adalah Nabi Khidir menghancurkan perahu yang mereka tumpangi karena perahu itu dimiliki oleh seorang yang miskin dan di daerah itu tinggallah seorang raja yang suka merampas perahu miliki rakyatnya.

Kejadian yang kedua, Nabi Khidir menjelaskan bahwa beliau membunuh seorang anak karena kedua orang tuanya adalah pasangan yang beriman dan jika anak ini menjadi dewasa dapat mendorong bapak dan ibunya menjadi orang yang sesat dan kufur. Kematian anak ini digantikan dengan anak yang shalih dan lebih mengasihi kedua bapak-ibunya hingga ke anak cucunya.

Kejadian yang ketiga (terakhir), Nabi Khidir menjelaskan bahwa rumah yang dinding diperbaiki itu adalah milik dua orang kakak beradik yatim yang tinggal di kota tersebut. Didalam rumah tersebut tersimpan harta benda yang ditujukan untuk mereka berdua. Ayah kedua kakak beradik ini telah meninggal dunia dan merupakan seorang yang shalih. Jika tembok rumah tersebut runtuh, maka bisa dipastikan bahwa harta yang tersimpan tersebut akan ditemukan oleh orang-orang di kota itu yang sebagian besar masih menyembah berhala, sedangkan kedua kakak beradik tersebut masih cukup kecil untuk dapat mengelola peninggalan harta ayahnya. Dipercaya tempat tersebut berada di negeri Antakya, Turki.

Akhirnya Nabi Musa as. sadar hikmah dari setiap perbuatan yang telah dikerjakan Nabi Khidir. Akhirya mengerti pula Nabi Musa dan merasa amat bersyukur karena telah dipertemukan oleh Allah dengan seorang hamba Allah yang shalih yang dapat mengajarkan kepadanya ilmu yang tidak dapat dituntut atau dipelajari yaitu ilmu ladunni. Ilmu ini diberikan oleh Allah SWT kepada siapa saja yang dikehendaki-Nya. Nabi Khidir yang bertindak sebagai seorang guru banyak memberikan nasihat dan menyampaikan ilmu seperti yang diminta oleh Nabi Musa as. dan Nabi Musa menerima nasihat tersebut dengan penuh rasa gembira.

Saat mereka didalam perahu yang ditumpangi, datanglah seekor burung lalu hinggap di ujung perahu itu. Burung itu meneguk air dengan paruhnya, lalu Nabi Khidir berkata, “Ilmuku dan ilmumu tidak berbanding dengan ilmu Allah, Ilmu Allah tidak akan pernah berkurang seperti air laut ini karena diteguk sedikit airnya oleh burung ini.”

Sebelum berpisah, Nabi Khidir berpesan kepada Nabi Musa as.

“Jadilah kamu seorang yang tersenyum dan bukannya orang yang tertawa.
Teruskanlah berdakwah dan janganlah berjalan tanpa tujuan.
Janganlah pula apabila kamu melakukan kekhilafan, berputus asa dengan kekhilafan yang telah dilakukan itu.

Menangislah disebabkan kekhilafan yang kamu lakukan, wahai Ibn `Imran.”


Hikmah kisah Nabi Khidir
Dari kisah Nabi Khidir ini kita dapat mengambil pelajaran penting. Diantaranya adalah Ilmu merupakan karunia Allah SWT, tidak ada seorang manusia pun yang boleh mengklaim bahwa dirinya lebih berilmu dibanding yang lainnya. Hal ini dikarenakan ada ilmu yang merupakan anugrah dari Allah SWT yang diberikan kepada seseorang tanpa harus mempelajarinya (Ilmu Ladunni, yaitu ilmu yang dikhususkan bagi hamba-hamba Allah yang shalih dan terpilih)

Hikmah yang kedua adalah kita perlu bersabar dan tidak terburu-buru untuk mendapatkan kebijaksanaan dari setiap peristiwa yang dialami. Hikmah ketiga adalah setiap murid harus memelihara adab dengan gurunya. Setiap murid harus bersedia mendengar penjelasan seorang guru dari awal hingga akhir sebelum nantinya dapat bertindak diluar perintah dari guru. Kisah Nabi Khidir ini juga menunjukan bahwa Islam memberikan kedudukan yang sangat istimewa kepada guru.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

~:: dUhAi SaHaBaT ::~

Sahabatku..

Aku berpesan pada diri.. Setiap manusia dijadikan ALLAH unik ciptaannya. Tiada satu pun makhluk ALLAH yang sama hingga tiada langsung bezanya. Maka bersyukurlah dengan keunikkan itu, kerana di situ identiti kita terbina. Maka hiasilah keunikkan itu dengan keimanan, kerana dari situ lah nilainya kita disisi ALLAH.

Seandainya diinginkan ALLAH, hambaNYA berubah, maka akan dihadirkan ke dalam kehidupan hamba tersebut ujian dan dugaan yang harus ditempuhi. Dugaan yang disulami dengan pilihan dan bakal disudahi dengan keputusan. Pilihan yang menentukan jalan yang harus dituju dan keputusan yang akan membentuk jiwa yang jitu atau terus tewas disitu.

Dugaan bukanlah sesuatu yang mudah, makin besar peranan hati menghadapi dugaan itu, maka makin utuhlah peribadi yang bakal dibentuk. Asalkan hati itu sentiasa dikawal dengan akal fikiran. Beserta semangat dan diri yang dibajai dengan keimanan.

Bersangka baiklah terhadap ALLAH dan pada setiap dugaan dan rintangan yang dilalui. Kerana ia mungkin satu persediaan untuk kita menempuhi sesuatu yang lebih sukar, maka dibentuklah hati kita semoga semakin kental. Ketahuilah, setiap peristiwa disusuli dengan pengajarannya. Samada kita dapat melihatnya atau tidak, hanya akal yang dapat menilai.

Jangan sesekali serik untuk meminta dari ALLAH, kerana sesungguhnya hanya DIA yang Maha Mengetahui dan Maha Mendengar. Andainya dirasa permintaan itu tidak diterima. Ingatlah ianya itu hanyalah samada ditunda, atau bakal diganti dengan sesuatu yang lebih baik. Itu janjiNYA. Yakinlah pada ketentuanNYA. Nescaya akan aman dan tenang disisiNYA.

Jadikanlah doa sebagai teman , istigfar sebagai sahabat, ketabahan hati sebagai bekalan, bersulamkan senyuman penyubur iman. Ikrarkanlah dihati pesananku ini." Andai ku di campak ke tengah lautan manusia, ku tahu ku masih sendiri seandainya hati tak mengenali cinta yang azali. Namun andainya cinta hakiki hadir di hati ini, ku takkan gentar walau aku ditinggalkan sendiri, kerana cinta yang ku cari telah ku temui..."

Wallahu'alam..

Saturday, May 2, 2009

~:: nO jUdGiNg DaY ::~


I remember seeing a quote put by a friend on her yahoo messenger shout out saying something about do not try to judge other without first trying to look into ourselves for our own mistake. I agreed with what she said.
Have you ever thought why people love to talk about other people’s problems? Talk about all the wrong things they had done? Judging their behaviours and all the decision they made? Trying to wrong and right others? Why?

I think everybody has their own point of view upon this. Asking that questions itself is also analyzing and being a part of that people whom I question about I guess. For me the answer is because everybody has their own problems, everybody has their own skeleton in the closet, by thinking about other people weaknesses and mistakes made us feel less weak and give us a glimpse of sense that we are better. It is some kind of a shield to let other people know that they are also full of flaws and also one of a way they can take a moment to forget their own sadness, their own problems.

For me, I think we have no right to judge others because we never know what they have been through and what had caused them to take the action that they have done. Although how bad the action that someone might done towards others, there is always two side of every story, knowing only one side of it does not made us eligible to judge.

No. It doesn’t mean that we can excuse every bad things people ever done. Every action will have the consequences and if someone did a bad thing although with what they think is with good intention, they will still have to pay the price. But what I am try to say is although how bad people are; we don’t have a right to feel that we are better than them; we don’t have a right to look at them with disgusted glance in our eyes because we don’t really know every side of their story, we cannot plan a seed of hate in our heart, because we might not be better than them, and maybe in some other ways they that we feel had fault might be better than us.

I love to relate what I am trying to say with the story of our prophet Musa and prophet Khidir. I think a lot of us know this story. When prophet Musa was asked to learnt from prophet Khidir about patience and hidden knowledge. Prophet Musa did not understand the intention of prophet Khidir that he thought was wrong but actually all the action that might seem wrong from our judgement actually has its own good purposes.

So the conclusion of what I am trying to say is. We don’t have any right to judge others. And if we are being judge it does feel better if we pity the people who judge us, who look down on us and who talked bad on us.
Because what I think is, do not take to hard on all the bad things they said to us, they might said it because they do not know the real situation, or maybe they have their own big problems that they want to forget and by putting their mind on something else.

So there are two points here that I can highligh:

1.Don’t judge; because we don’t really know the truth

2.And if we are being judge don’t feel bad because people did not really know who we truly are. Just continue to be ourselves and do good deed so people did not have a chance anymore to talk bad about us. We cannot change other people, we can only change ourselves with a hope people will change their opinion and impression on us.

Hey, I am not trying to say that I am correct, I am just saying based on my opinion :)

(p/s: well today there is no lyrics accompanying my thoughts because I am not listening to any song while writing this not look previously :) and the other thing is not I am babbling too long enough and to add lyrics from a song to make it longer will not work eheheh )

Friday, May 1, 2009

~:: pEsAnAn UnTuK lElAkI & iNgAtAn UnTuK wAnItA ::~

“Jangan engkau kahwini wanita yang enam, jangan yang ananah, yang mananah, dan yang hananah, dan jangan engkau kahwini yang hadaqah, yang baraqah dan yang syadaqah.”


Wanita Ananah: banyak mengeluh dan mengadu dan tiap saat memperalatkan sakit atau buat-buat sakit.

Wanita Mananah: suka membangkit-bangkit terhadap suami. Wanita ini sering menyatakan, “Aku membuat itu keranamu”.

Wanita Hananah: menyatakan kasih sayangnya kepada suaminya yang lain, yang dikahwininya sebelum ini atau kepada anaknya dari suami yang lain.

Wanita Hadaqah: melemparkan pandangan dan matanya pada tiap sesuatu, lalu menyatakan keinginannya untuk memiliki barang itu dan memaksa suaminya untuk membelinya.

Wanita Baraqah: ada 2 makna, pertama yang sepanjang hari mengilatkan dan menghias mukanya, kedua dia marah ketika makan dan tidak mahu makan kecuali sendirian dan diasingkannya bahagianya.

Wanita Syadaqah: banyak cakap tidak menentu lagi bising.

Dicatat oleh Imam Al-Ghazalli