~ Demi Masa ~

Monday, December 31, 2012

~:: eNd Of JoUrNeY *2012* ::~

2012 is leaving... 
Again to myself I keep asking...
. Have I've be the best for the year...
Again to myself I keep asking...
 What will I take with me for another year...

Am I strong enough to keep fighting me..
Am I strong enough to keep being me...


2012 is leaving..
And yet.. I must keep on fighting.. 

~:: *** ::~

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

~:: mEmBeBaNiKu ::~

Berat yang ku pikul ini.. bukanlah bebananku.. namun ia sebahagian dariku..
Meskipun beratnya melambatkan langkahku... meskipun beratnya melelahkan uratku...
Namun ia tidak sekali mematahkan semangatku...


Berat yang ku pikul ini.. bukanlah beban bagiku.. malah ia adalah pelindungku..

~:: *** ::~

Monday, December 24, 2012

~:: gOnE ::~

What if you lost the one dearest to your heart.. what would you do? 
The one that you have build your hopes and dreams with..
The one that you have promise yourself to grow old with..
What would you do... if one day suddenly is no more there beside you.. for you... 


If that day comes... there is actually nothing you can do... 
but just accepting all has changed...

~:: *** ::~

Saturday, December 22, 2012

~:: sHaDoW ::~

I once read.. in the darkest hour.. even your shadow will leave you.. well... for me shadows is also a visible thing that the eyes can see.. yes.. of course you will think it has leave you if it is not visible to your eyes..



But.. does a thing really gone or not even there if it is not visible.. what if.. you can't see it.. but you can feel it.. that can we say it is not there.. or is it there?..


Thursday, December 20, 2012

~:: bOlA ::~

Hidup biar umpama bola.. yang sentiasa melantun bila dicampak ke bawah..
Hidup biar umpama bola.. yang jelas detinasi dan arah tujunya yang membawa makna..


Namun hidup janganlah menjadi bola.. yang sesenangnya ditendang sesiapa saja...

~:: *** ::~

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

~:: bIaRkAnLaH ::~

Kekadang hati bagai dicarik-carik.. melawan hari-hari..
Kekadang hati bagai ingin berhenti berdetik.. lelah mengejar mimpi-mimpi..


Namun biarkanlah.. biarkan..
Kerana bagiku.. semua itu telah sebati..

~:: ***::~

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

~:: tAbAh ::~

Adakalanya aku berharap hati ini lebih tabah.. lebih kuat bertunjangkan iman.. lebih kental berpaksikan kebenaran.. Agar aku sentiasa gagah menghadapi dugaan.. Agar aku sentiasa hidup dalam kehidupan..


Jua agar dapat aku menjadi lebih dari aku.. 

~:: *** ::~

Sunday, December 16, 2012

~:: sEmEnTaRa ::~

Hidup ini bersifat sementara.. yang dulu indah akan hilang serinya.. bila diratah masa.. bila dimamah usia.. Jika yang indah dulu dipuja... yang buruk tertinggal kini begitu sahaja...


Bagai menanti waktu reput tanpa sisa.. dan terus hilang selama-lama..

~:: *** ::~

~:: hAlAmAn SePi ::~

Bijak pandai pernah berkata.. setiap hari baru bermula dengan setiap helaian baru...
Terpulang pada diri.. untuk menggarap apa yang ingin dicatatkan dihelaian itu..
Berpandukan akal.. kitalah yang akan menentukan hari kita..
Kitalah jua yang memilih... kita jualah yang membenarkan perasaan kita melayari apa yang kita mahu rasa..
Apa yang terjadi disekeliling kita .. bukanlah alasan untuk menentukan apa yang kita rasa..
Tapi apa yang kita memilih untuk merasa.. itulah yang akan kita rasa..


Tapi bagiku ia tidaklah semudah itu..
Kalaulah ianya semudah itu... kalaulah..

~:: *** ::~

Saturday, December 15, 2012

~:: hAkIkAt ::~

Tiada yang dapat menghalang hujan membasahi bumi jika itu takdirnya.. Benar.. Adakala apa yang terjadi bukanlah apa yang dirancang.. Namun jika itulah yang ditakdirkan maka itulah yang perlu ditelan.. Itulah makna sebuah pengalaman.. Yang mengajar erti sebuah kesabaran.. 


Maka.. Apalah gunanya iman jika kenyataan yang mendatang redha untuk ditelan… Apalah guna akal jika cabaran tidak dijadikan sebagai peluang…

Friday, December 14, 2012

~:: tAfSiRaN ::~

Sentiasa aku cuba ingatkan diri.. bahawa manusia sering menyalah erti.. ada kala buruk apa yang mereka tafsirkan walaupun bukanlah bermakna buruk yang cuba kau berikan.. memang.. ada masa diam adalah yang terbaik.. namun ada masa diam itu menambah sakit..


Iya..aku harus sentiasa mengingatkan diri supaya tidak menyalah tafsir sesiapa.. sentiasa bersangka baik.. walaupun ada masanya aku yang terasa amat penat kerana sering disalah tafsir..

~:: *** ::~

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

~:: tHiS wOrLd Of MaSqUeRaDe ::~



This world of masquerade,
Killing love and raising hate,
When truth is no longer true,
And lying is all they do.

Trust is a sign of stupidity,
Waiting to be use without humanity,
Sincerity becoming a sense of weakness,
That will pull you deep into the darkness.

Goodness is no longer can be seen,
Just something that has become extinct,
The world has turn into this masquerade,
That killing love and bringing hate.


Monday, December 10, 2012

~:: mOvInG pLaCeS ::~

Remember in my previous post that I said that I wanted to be far far away.. well.. seeing the stats of my blog actually although I am standing still somewhere my pages of thoughts had gone places to most of the places that I've never been..

How I marvel the technologies.. for me it prove how incredible the human brains works.. and then lead me to believe how great the power of the creator that give this gift of wisdom to the human being.. 


Maybe somewhere in the other parts of the world there is someone who appreciate what I've shared here :)

Thursday, December 6, 2012

~:: mEmOrIeS ::~

I've just finished reading this book.. Honestly said.. I can't put this book don't once started reading it.. the plot is intriguing, although as usual I had able to guess the ending before actually finishing it does not stop me from continuing reading it..


It brought a different insight.. a question you will asked yourself of the "thing" that I think most of us took for granted.. our memory.. beginning with how one mistake can changed your whole life.. shows that how without memories.. you will loose your identity.. and how without it you are open to danger of being manipulated..

~:: *** ::~


Wednesday, December 5, 2012

~:: a StOrY oF roSeS aNd A BeAr ::~



There was once a man who was cursed to be a bear..  Because he breaks the heart of the one who love him.. This bear carried around a magical bouquet of roses in his arms.. The roses was actually a piece of the bear’s heart that makes him feels and alive..

To break the curse he was given a responsibility to find those who can truly cherish the roses.. If the roses dies or gone without him able to fulfill his task.. he will be no more than just a stuff bear without a heart and feeling.. But if he found the one that will cherish the rose and care for it with all her heart.. the rose will turn into a garden of roses that will bloom all year.. it will let it sweet and lovely scents throughout the kingdom.. and bring peace and joy to the kingdom.. and the man will be turned into a human again..

But the rose was different from other roses.. it was not as beautiful.. it was stiffed and dull.. it had thorns as sharp as needles.. and will only blooms to a beautiful rose to those who appreciate it and passed all the test with patience and time..  

One day the bear found the one he thought would appreciate the rose and took his risk by giving the rose to her.. She gladly took the rose and cherish it for a while but then she get tired of caring for it.. so she left it to die.. For to her the rose was too dull and had nothing to offer her.. 

Though feeling sad.. The bear accept the fact and went on finding another who can appreciate his rose.. For he can only gave one rose at a time or the magic will not happen..  Sadly.. his rose was kept be thrown away by the one choose by the bear..  

Years went by and now the bear only had one more rose in his hand.. With every rose he gave away he feels that he had becoming more lifeless.. so the bear sat there thinking whether to take one last risk or gave up to wait for the inevitable to actually happen...

Monday, December 3, 2012

~:: lOsT ::~

I saw a lost kitty.. wondering alone by herself.. not knowing where to go.. shaking and crying with fear.. 
I tried to help her.. but she gets more afraid.. that I would hurt her.. or take her far away..
She cries for her mom.. but couldn't find her.. she wonders around.. still shaking in fear..
I go to her again.. feeling sorry for she's so lonely...she look up to me then.. with her eyes that is so lovely..
I carried her close.. so she wont get cold.. her cries gets more slow.. for knowing I would bring her home..
Then I saw her mother.. acting so upset.. I place the lost kitty near her.. and I know that she is glad...
The mother hold the lost kitty close.. and than took her away.. and I know now the lost kitty is home..

For she is where her love one is..


Sunday, December 2, 2012

~:: tHeN cAmE tHe SuN ::~



The night is coming,
And the darkness closing,
I feel like I’m drowning,
With no chance of surviving.

Having lost my way,
To the hurt and pain,
With no words to say,
But just tears in vain.

But then came the sun,
With the ray of light,
And the hope of what’s to come,
Slowing shines bright.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

~:: hArUsKaH mEmIlIh ::~

Pilihan datang dalam setiap waktu... Pilihan yang akan hadir bersama kemungkinan..
Bagaimana harus ku tahu apa yang tepat untuk dipilih.. Mungkin dengan menetapkan apa yang ku mahu di pengakirannya, adalah panduan yang tepat untuk membuat sesuatu pilihan itu..


Tapi bagaimana jika aku sendiri tak tahu apakah sebenarnya yang aku mahu...

Friday, November 30, 2012

~:: sHaTtErEd ::~

Feels like falling,
Feels like screaming,
And yet silently stands on the ground.
When silence are deafening,
And emptiness are overcrowding,
My minds are spinning with the earth.
Ignorance is no longer a bliss,
Who is slowly come and kills,


Then left me only with my shattered dreams...

Thursday, November 29, 2012

~:: iNvIsIbLe ::~

Invisible.. That's how I am sometimes feels.. I feel like I had tried my best to give impact in life of those close to me.. but in the end my best is never good enough.. it's get so frustrating sometimes.. but learning from a hard lesson, I know that we can not change how people feels... we can only choose how we feel.. Yes.. I always reminded myself that I choose to be happy and choose to ignore being unappreciated but who am I to fool myself.. I am a human with feeling.. these things hurts..


But anyhow I learnt to hide it pretty well.. accept it and just lived with it.. maybe that is how it was meant to be..

Monday, November 26, 2012

~:: hAnYa SePaTaH kAtA ::~

Begitu panjangnya makna.. bagi hanya satu kata..
Benarlah mungkin dengan kata dapat merubah segala..
Kata mampu membawa duka.. mampu jua membawa gembira...
Kata yang ditutur tanpa jiwa hanya akan membawa nestapa...
Katakanlah bersulam jiwa..
Agar aku bahagia..


Katakanlah...

Saturday, November 24, 2012

~:: aCcIdEnTs HaPpEnS ::~


I went out early today on a rainy day, with the hope of repairing minor problem on my beloved car.. But something unexpected happens.. I got hit by a big trailer.. Though I am not injured but my beloved car is.. Looked at him.. poor baby.. But what frustrated me the most is that I am unable to get the license plate of that trailer since I was too busy thinking of others.. To avoid blocking the traffic.. as I was moving aside the trailer run away..since I am pretty sure he got no damage at all on him..

Then it occurs to me that this morning I did not start my journey well.. usually I always.. always starts with du'a.. but then this morning I forget to do so.. I believed I am not a careless driver and I should have seen this coming since traffic was not so heavy in the early morning..

During waiting for the police report I did a lot of thinking since I had to wait for painfully long hours.. I thought that actually I was lucky that I was unhurt.. Imagine being hit by a trailer could do so much more worst.. Think about it I was grateful for that..  I feel that I must done something wrong and this come as a reminder and expiation for something I've done.. or maybe recently I do complaints a lot about my beloved car and that this is a reminder to be grateful for what I have or this can be taken away...

Though still feeling down.. I am still grateful.. although unhurt physically but I am sure emotionally is .. I suddenly remember this..


Rasulullah SAW pernah bersabda bermaksud: “Sesungguhnya seorang yang beriman ketika ditimpa musibah sakit, kemudian Allah menyembuhkannya, maka itu adalah kaffarah (penghapus) bagi dosa-dosa yang dia lakukan sebelumnya, sekali gus menjadi peringatan berharga untuk menghadapi masa akan datang.” (Hadis riwayat Abu Daud)


Friday, November 23, 2012

~:: jAtUh ::~

Amat dingin hari ini.. Membawa angin berhembus laju.. 
Hanya berpaut di rapuhnya ranting ku lihat sekeping daun kering berterbangan di bawa bayu..
Hanya menurut arah sang bayu.. Membiarkan dirinya berterbangan laju..
Terkulai-kulai di tiup laju.. Belum pasti manakan jatuh..


Namun yang pasti ia akan tetap jatuh.. 
Jatuh dan menunggu hilang di mamah bumi..

Thursday, November 22, 2012

~:: mEnEnTaNg ArUs ::~


Jika hati berpaksi akan kemahuan yang dicari..
Tiada apa yang dapat mematahkan apa yang terpatri kecuali kuasa Ilahi..
Hatikan tegar melawan arus..Meski usaha memamah diri...
Kekadang tenaga bagaikan hilang... Namun usah dibiar semangatku hilang...
Berdiri dan tetaplah berdiri..

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

~:: pHoTo HuNtInG ::~

It's been a while since I went out for photo hunting... I might be running out of photo to share it here.. Actually I am not so good at it anyway.. But I just like capturing moments that make me feel something that give a meaning to me.. I am not much of a talker.. but I can say that I am more like an observer.. Sometimes I'm imagining myself as an eagle soaring high up in the sky and looking down.. Sometimes I do wish that I could fly.. many thoughts comes from those observation so I had to let it all out somewhere which I choose it to be here.. Just so that I can visit it once it a while.. and also so that if one day I am happen not to be around anymore.. those who missed me can visit here and read and see and feels as if I am still around..


But sometimes I do wonder.. If I am truly gone will there be anyone who care enough to miss me.. :)

~:: *** ::~

Sunday, November 18, 2012

~:: sCaRrED hEaRt ::~


I have a scarred heart.. that had been broken so many times..
Each time it gets broken.. I pieced it back together with the parts that I can find..
But no matter how I tried.. The scars remained a sign..
That it was once was shattered.. and left broken behind...

The scars will stay there forever.. Forever in my heart..

Now my fragile heart is more fragile.. will all those holes inside..
Holes that cannot be filled again since the pieces had lost in time..  

Saturday, November 17, 2012

~:: mEmOrY lAnE ::~

End of the year is around the corner.. yet I feel like I am standing still at the same spot.. nowadays I keep asking myself what have I accomplish.. is there anything that I had contribute that I can be proud of.. yes.. I am being hard on myself again.. but with all the years gone by I had to ask myself that..

I am scared actually.. scared if I left this world without ever had a change to give an impact on anything or anyone.. what if one day I am gone and people don't even notice it.. is that so then what good am I being here right now..


I hope that I can be more than I am now..

Friday, November 16, 2012

~:: rAy Of LiFe ::~

I love looking at sun setting down.. seeing all the colors blending together give such a peaceful sights.. That is how the canvas of our life should be.. with  just one color our painting will just be dull.. but with all those feelings mix together in one big canvas it will certainly make a one colorful painting.. a picture that give a thousand word even without using a word..


Cherish what we feel inside coz only by feeling the hurt and pain we will know more about ourselves..

~:: rInDu ::~

Kini aku kerap ke mari.. kerana aku rindu.. rindu pada sesuatu yang amat aku rindu... 
Rindu ingin berbicara dengannya yang aku rindu... Namun takut rindu ini tiada berbalas rindu..
Ke mana kamu duhai rindu.. tidakkah engkau merindu..


Kini aku merindu... segalanya yang aku rindu...

Thursday, November 15, 2012

~:: tHe SuN ::~


The sun is coming down again. Then again here I stood and watching that beautiful rays that will be gone when the darkness comes. Such a beauty that seems to stay forever but then again its not... But wait... The sun will rise again...

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

~:: hUjAn ::~

Hujan lagi.. Kali ini entah bila akan berhenti...
Namun aku tidak peduli.. Kerana aku suka rentak bunyinya yang hadir memecah sunyi..
Rentak yang tidak sumbang.. Malah amat menenangkan.. 
Cuma yang ku harap tiadalah ribut pula yang bakal bertandang..


Membawa pergi semua ketenangan.. 

~:: mOvInG fAr FaR aWaY ::~


Far far away.. where does the place exist coz I wanted to go there and stay.. be away from this hectic world without have to bring along my all the thing that chained me here.. but somehow I know that my heart did not have the courage to do so. Not because of me.. If I was that selfish I had done so but for the sake of a few that still cares for me..

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

~:: kElAm ::~

Malam sudah lama bertandang, namun mata ini masih enggan pejam..
Terkebil-kebil di dalam kelam, tiada apa nak dipandang..
Jasad kaku terbaring, namun fikiran kencang berlari..



Mungkin itu punca hati tak tenang..

~:: iF tOmOrRoW nEvEr CoMeS ::~

Thoughts crosses my mind a lot lately.. what if I never wake up tomorrow.. Then.. will I ever have the chance to make right what was wrong.. to finish what I have started..


Will I be missed?

~:: rOlLiNg In ThE dEep ::~

Just having a stroll outside and I quite tempted to this round thingy.. somehow I think it also looked so alien like.. it makes me wonder what the purpose of having put them here.. for decoration sure.. but maybe people can sit on after having a long walk.. so then I sit on it for a while and took this photo..



Looking at it again make me think deep.. of life.. may favorite subject of course :)  (and part of it of Adele's song rolling in the deep..)

Yes.. for me.. life is like a bouncing ball.. you will be kick down.. rolled away.. but you need to keep on bouncing up.. make you the air inside you is filled so that you can keep bouncing although how hard you've been kick.. because once you let all the air out as in give up.. then your life as a ball is over..

Monday, November 12, 2012

~:: pUrPoSe ? ::~

What is life without its purpose? 



Then again have we accepted its true purpose? Sometimes I remember. Sometimes I forget. Then sometimes I know I choose to ignore. I am not perfect. I am not strong. Though most of the times I've tried to be grateful but most of the time I feels like this world keeps bring me down.

~:: lIfE fRoM a ReAr ViEw MiRrOr ::~

That is me.. That is my bad habit.. That is how I viewed my life..


Constantly looking back... Then once in a while I just look when the one who used to walk behind me drive by.. I just don’t know how to change anymore.. I am stuck here.. still non moving in the world that constantly moving.. I don’t know maybe it is not that I don’t know how.. but I just refuse to move.. just because I’m tired of being push down and kick down.. 

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

~:: jAuH ::~

Ada masanya aku berharap aku mempunyai sepasang sayap.. Agar dapat ku terbang jauh mencari mimpiku.. 
Agar dapat ku lihat segenap pelusuk dunia ini... 
Ingin kurasa angin di sayap ku menolak ke tinggi di langit itu..



Ingin ku rasa apa adanya melihat semuanya dari pandangan yang tinggi nun jauh di sana..

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

~:: wAiTiNg ::~

It's been a while since I've stop writing.. It's been a while that I stop doing anything that I like.. I don't know that somehow my life came to a big full stop.. waiting and waiting for I don't know what I am waiting for since I know that what I am waiting for is not ever ever going to happen.. Waiting?? Yes.. waiting.. for something that had lost.. so what is it that I am waiting for.. I don't know.. yup.. I made myself dizzy thinking about this waiting stuff..

But.. somehow.. I feels like I neeeddd to start writing again even if it doesn't make any sense or else it will keep jumble up it my mind and make me restless.. I need to get this out..



So here I am again.. trying to make sense with my senseless word...

Sunday, October 28, 2012

~:: 28 oKtObEr ~ kEmBalI bErBiCaRa SeKePiNg HaTi ::~

Aku bukanlah seorang seni.. yang mampu menggarap kata sakti.. mau pun melakar karya agung abadi..
Aku hanyalah aku.. yang memandang dari mata hati dan berbicara dari kata hati..
Di detik ini aku kembali menitip rasa hati.. setelah kian lama menyepi..
Kerna sepi itu kembali.. Kerna itulah aku di sini..

Ku titip apa yang mampu ku rakam dari rasa... dari apa yang dipapar dunia..
Dari mata ini aku mencari makna.. dari hati ini aku berbicara...


Bukan ku harap kata puja atau kutuk maki cerca ..
Yang ku titipkan hanyalah rasa.. Dari sekeping hati yang mahu berbicara..

~ :: *** :: ~