Artist: Sarah Mclachlan
Song: Arms of the angle
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it ok
There's always some reason to feel “not good enough”
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction, oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
They may be empty and weightless, and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of the Angels, fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here
So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of the Angels, far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here
Today for the first time I finally open my closet to reveal the skeleton inside to a dear friend. I finally speaking out load about it of what made me feels and think the way I do now. The times and things that I've been through that make me who I am now. I was surprise with myself that I managed to hide the sadness I held inside for so long when I tell about it, but sitting here alone tonight the tears come flowing like a waterfall. (Yuuup.. I am a sensitive souls.. yuckk eheheh)
I am not complaining about my life, what the hack I lied, with the clock ticking and time flying I do feel frustrated about my life, but it is my life and I cannot trade it with something else. The “event” that I will have to go through only once in a life time. And I also do be too hard with myself sometimes especially felling this endlessness and nothingness.
I do hate myself for felling so weak.. See.. I am being too hard on myself again. I am allowed to be sad, to feel frustrated, to feel weak, to feel and embrace the pain. I think that I am being a hypocrite if I denied what I fell inside but I also don’t want to overdo it and live my life feeling sorry for myself, it didn't help to be so engrossed with feeling sorry for yourself.
So what.. I you fail.. Cried, scream and do whatever you like, but please do get over it and life your life. Accept the fact that you have fail; believe me you will feel better with yourself once you have accepted the fact.
But what I know from my life especially; life is more of pain then gain. More of lost then win.. It always has a way of make you feel bad but there is also always a way to make you feel better again although maybe just for second just to hide the pain but somehow it will make the pain more bearable. There’s always an angle sent to you at the point you losing your hope. At the time it all feel so hard and so painful, there’s always a touch of grace that ease the pain away. It’s up to us to recognize it. How I miss all the angles that once help me through my pain but now has gone away and how I am thankful for all the angles that is still with me giving me some comfort in pain.