~:: sHaTtErEd ::~

Feels like falling,

Feels like screaming,

And yet silently stands on the ground.

When silence are deafening,

And emptiness are overcrowding,

My minds are spinning with the earth.

Ignorance is no longer a bliss,

Who is slowly come and kills,

Then left me only with my shattered dreams...

~:: iNvIsIbLe ::~

Invisible.. That's how I am sometimes feels.. I feel like I had tried my best to give impact in life of those close to me.. but in the end my best is never good enough.. it's get so frustrating sometimes.. but learning from a hard lesson, I know that we can not change how people feels... we can only choose how we feel.. Yes.. I always reminded myself that I choose to be happy and choose to ignore being unappreciated but who am I to fool myself.. I am a human with feeling.. these things hurts..

But anyhow I learnt to hide it pretty well.. accept it and just lived with it.. maybe that is how it was meant to be..

~:: hAnYa SePaTaH kAtA ::~

Begitu panjangnya makna.. bagi hanya satu kata..

Benarlah mungkin dengan kata dapat merubah segala..

Kata mampu membawa duka.. mampu jua membawa gembira...

Kata yang ditutur tanpa jiwa hanya akan membawa nestapa...

Katakanlah bersulam jiwa..

Agar aku bahagia..

Katakanlah...

~:: aCcIdEnTs HaPpEnS ::~

I went out early today on a rainy day, with the hope of repairing minor problem on my beloved car.. But something unexpected happens.. I got hit by a big trailer.. Though I am not injured but my beloved car is.. Looked at him.. poor baby.. But what frustrated me the most is that I am unable to get the license plate of that trailer since I was too busy thinking of others.. To avoid blocking the traffic.. as I was moving aside the trailer run away..since I am pretty sure he got no damage at all on him..

Then it occurs to me that this morning I did not start my journey well.. usually I always.. always starts with du'a.. but then this morning I forget to do so.. I believed I am not a careless driver and I should have seen this coming since traffic was not so heavy in the early morning..

During waiting for the police report I did a lot of thinking since I had to wait for painfully long hours.. I thought that actually I was lucky that I was unhurt.. Imagine being hit by a trailer could do so much more worst.. Think about it I was grateful for that..  I feel that I must done something wrong and this come as a reminder and expiation for something I've done.. or maybe recently I do complaints a lot about my beloved car and that this is a reminder to be grateful for what I have or this can be taken away...

Though still feeling down.. I am still grateful.. although unhurt physically but I am sure emotionally is .. I suddenly remember this..

Rasulullah SAW pernah bersabda bermaksud: “Sesungguhnya seorang yang beriman ketika ditimpa musibah sakit, kemudian Allah menyembuhkannya, maka itu adalah kaffarah (penghapus) bagi dosa-dosa yang dia lakukan sebelumnya, sekali gus menjadi peringatan berharga untuk menghadapi masa akan datang.” (Hadis riwayat Abu Daud)

~:: jAtUh ::~

Amat dingin hari ini.. Membawa angin berhembus laju.. 

Hanya berpaut di rapuhnya ranting ku lihat sekeping daun kering berterbangan di bawa bayu..

Hanya menurut arah sang bayu.. Membiarkan dirinya berterbangan laju..

Terkulai-kulai di tiup laju.. Belum pasti manakan jatuh..

Namun yang pasti ia akan tetap jatuh.. 

Jatuh dan menunggu hilang di mamah bumi..

~:: mEnEnTaNg ArUs ::~

Jika hati berpaksi akan kemahuan yang dicari..
Tiada apa yang dapat mematahkan apa yang terpatri kecuali kuasa Ilahi..
Hatikan tegar melawan arus..Meski usaha memamah diri...
Kekadang tenaga bagaikan hilang... Namun usah dibiar semangatku hilang...
Berdiri dan tetaplah berdiri..

~:: pHoTo HuNtInG ::~

It's been a while since I went out for photo hunting... I might be running out of photo to share it here.. Actually I am not so good at it anyway.. But I just like capturing moments that make me feel something that give a meaning to me.. I am not much of a talker.. but I can say that I am more like an observer.. Sometimes I'm imagining myself as an eagle soaring high up in the sky and looking down.. Sometimes I do wish that I could fly.. many thoughts comes from those observation so I had to let it all out somewhere which I choose it to be here.. Just so that I can visit it once it a while.. and also so that if one day I am happen not to be around anymore.. those who missed me can visit here and read and see and feels as if I am still around..

But sometimes I do wonder.. If I am truly gone will there be anyone who care enough to miss me.. :)

~:: *** ::~

~:: sCaRrED hEaRt ::~

I have a scarred heart.. that had been broken so many times..

Each time it gets broken.. I pieced it back together with the parts that I can find..

But no matter how I tried.. The scars remained a sign..

That it was once was shattered.. and left broken behind...

The scars will stay there forever.. Forever in my heart..

Now my fragile heart is more fragile.. will all those holes inside..

Holes that cannot be filled again since the pieces had lost in time..  

~:: mEmOrY lAnE ::~

End of the year is around the corner.. yet I feel like I am standing still at the same spot.. nowadays I keep asking myself what have I accomplish.. is there anything that I had contribute that I can be proud of.. yes.. I am being hard on myself again.. but with all the years gone by I had to ask myself that..

I am scared actually.. scared if I left this world without ever had a change to give an impact on anything or anyone.. what if one day I am gone and people don't even notice it.. is that so then what good am I being here right now..

I hope that I can be more than I am now..

~:: rAy Of LiFe ::~

I love looking at sun setting down.. seeing all the colors blending together give such a peaceful sights.. That is how the canvas of our life should be.. with  just one color our painting will just be dull.. but with all those feelings mix together in one big canvas it will certainly make a one colorful painting.. a picture that give a thousand word even without using a word..

Cherish what we feel inside coz only by feeling the hurt and pain we will know more about ourselves..